shoes?!?!

O.k so we have gotten all the books and all the supplies and we even have uniforms.....but the quest for the shoes turned out to truly be exhausting..

There were plenty but not necessarily ones that fit...or they only carried full sizes instead of half sizes..which she was totally willing to make an exception for the if they had a heal...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!...and I keep looking at the tiny baby shoes that fit in the palm of my hand, longing for the day when those were the need..

Although I am so excited about today I can't help but miss yesterday, and tomorrow we will be picking out her wedding shoes...Lord help me remember the details and enjoys the moments however brief.

Change...what a crazy concept...or more so the idea that there is a plateau in life where things do not change!

There is a season for everything but there is always a change that takes place...
If a butterflies wings get crushed is she excluded from the possibilities that laid before her in a prior season? Or is she just learning how to ride the waves and drifts so she can truly be who she was designed to be?

Faithful

When did they get so big?

So smart?

My legacy and my motive for every breath.

He wants to play the drums she wants to do ballet.

I just want to hold them and stop time to keep them near me.

God is so faithful, He keeps them and honors them with His love.

As we embark on anouther school year I find that I am looking at them a little longer, wishing for yesterday when they were born, but knowing they must fly.

Torn by there questions of how and why consitintly seeking truth so as to feed it to them.

And tomorrow they will be grown needing finances for college and God will be faithful then to.

Grow babies grow.......just not to fast")

His Hands

5 But he was pierced for our rebellion,

crushed for our sins.

He was beaten so we could be whole.

He was whipped so we could be healed.

16 Dogs have surrounded me;

a band of evil men has encircled me,

they have pierced [b] my hands and my feet.

How cruel that they pierced him...that they broke through his skin and crushed his nerves, that they did all the things that they did to him.

My focus today is the garden..Jesus knew that he was going to have to suffer..

I have to many areas that hurt me today..areas that are attached to people that I can't seem to help..grief that weighs heavy on me. The type of grief that hurts and weighs so much on my chest that I think about Him in the garden crying out the the Father to let this cup pass from Him and I think about the disciples and how they were weighed with grief that they couldn't bare it and just slept to get through, the drops of blood He sweated and the anguish that He felt all for me and for you..and although they came and pierced His hands and His feet He endured so that I could use my hands and feet because the enemy pierced Him but becasue he did he can't pierce me and I can use my hands to slap the enemy in the face as I love and do what I am called to do in the name of my Jesus. And although I am full with grief I know He felt it all and that He bore it for me and I can have peace in the midst of my inability to help them becasue what Jesus did was enough for me and for them.

You are my shield

my stregnth, my fortress, deliverer

my shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need...

The Brain

The Brain is a wonderful and amazing center for all things that govern the activity for the body.

But what happens when there is a mass, a tumor, a cyst...pressing on vital nerves.

There are many symptoms and many functions that are affected and not functioning.

Today was a bad day..today I made her cry...how much more can she take...she said today she went outside but had to run in feeling out of place..I told her all she had to do was survive and she said she didn't think she could...the brain is affected..the vital nerves being pushed on..or is it in anouther part of the brain where there are chemicals? What is going on...and will she make it through..she is sad, she is tired, she feels lost and defeated...anouther part of the brain..

Hang in there, break through, see clearly. Wisdom be near me, help me.

God of wonder and perfection deliverence and strength be with her in her need and set her free. Free from imbalanced chemicals, suicidal thoughts, her lost condition. Walk down the hall to the place where she sleeps touch her soul and set her free from the accusing voices with in. Set the captive free please Father please.

it is not time

You are not supposed to go
not now, not today
why would you end it all
and throw your choices away?

what happened? when did you break?
and come so close to causing so much heartache?

Why are you sick
and will it get better
is it cancer or is it safe

Can they operate and take it away
does it matter to you or would you rather it stayed?

how do i communicate
fear is ever present
God is my source
and I need His strength
but what can be done about ones mental state?

Is He big enough and will it matter
if the choices are still left so scattered?

Free will that is one I don't quite understand
please Lord heal her soul and help her stand.

Don't let her quit and throw it all away
I need her still to this very day.

My Baby Sis

My Beautiful Baby Sister is COMING!!!
She is going to be here on the 27th and no end in site to her leaving!!
She is a Colorado girl in desperate need for her family and I cannot wait for her to come and bring her joy our way!
Love you sissy!