It is official!!
We have decided....
I am so excited I can hardly contain my childlike energy...
We are going...
Nothing left but the packing and the ticket purchases...
well and a few other little details...but we are going!!!! WOOHOO
Still a secret though so shhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Thirty....YEAH RIGHT!!

O.K. So the 15th was my 30th birthday and I am ok with that.
But I must evaluate who I am and if I am happy with this life so far..
A wife for 13years..rough at times and rocky at others to say the least but I am truly happy and am a rare breed of happily married folks..not the statistic that so many said we would be..divorced and unhappy..not us..breaking curses of abuse to one anouther, hatred and war in a home that is supposed to be peaceful..I have seen it so many times in my very own family, but not in my home anymore..we have learned to talk it out, walk away, and say I am sorry. Put the other before ourself and serve..
A mom..there is nothing more difficult...and nothing so rewarding...she is so beautiful in everyway. from the inside out. Full of hope and joy and LOVE. But I often feel like I am forging this parenting on my own. Not able to rely on anything that I think I know especially in the beginning. Angry for no reason..seeing myself in her but only my so called flaws..there has been so much the Father has had to do in me but now I look at her with a love that is straight from heaven...
My son loves life and leaping...he is great and I can feel his struggle with his self and his spirit..it is daily..so close to my own that I know how to help him..most of the time..he is so gifted and loving I can barely wait to see what he does as he ages inspite of himself...
A giver am I...majoring in hospitality and love. To those deserving and undeserving. I want them all to know Jesus..forget my name and remember His...
There is something there behind those eyes...love joy compassion peace and
a contentment that only comes with time..and getting to know who I am even in weak moments
A serious one about the things I value..and those I love

Dramatic to prove a point...
I love to tell things in story form...almost parables..always aware that moments are just that moments that pass and are gone...but I have learned how to cherish them when they happen and look for the next ones..but almost with a prophetic knowing as I seem to have this been there done that feeling so often...
I don't believe the lies that try to infaltrate my mind reminding me of the past of an ugly girl with frizzy hair and thin frame..
I know who I am and I am 30 and happy. molded and shaped by a Holy Spirit that loves me and I can't wait to see what happens in the next few years..

Memorial Day FUN

Ok what is the deal mom?? First you make us get dressed and out...packed a few snacks..what is going on?




What is that?? That is a Mazey, named after Amazing Grace and my friend Laura. She is going to teach you a little about riding. COOL MOM!!
Brush...get familiar...ok not so bad..


Tori is a natural..no saddle..big smile for the crowd and she is doing great!!
Well if sis can do it I can do it....




O.k. wait a minute hang on to what?? Won't that hurt her?



SHE IS SO TALL!!!



O Guide her o.k.....

What a day we had they learned so much and had so much fun:)
I am the king of good family fun...the king (sigh) hehe

Happy Memorial Day!!

shoes?!?!

O.k so we have gotten all the books and all the supplies and we even have uniforms.....but the quest for the shoes turned out to truly be exhausting..

There were plenty but not necessarily ones that fit...or they only carried full sizes instead of half sizes..which she was totally willing to make an exception for the if they had a heal...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!...and I keep looking at the tiny baby shoes that fit in the palm of my hand, longing for the day when those were the need..

Although I am so excited about today I can't help but miss yesterday, and tomorrow we will be picking out her wedding shoes...Lord help me remember the details and enjoys the moments however brief.

Change...what a crazy concept...or more so the idea that there is a plateau in life where things do not change!

There is a season for everything but there is always a change that takes place...
If a butterflies wings get crushed is she excluded from the possibilities that laid before her in a prior season? Or is she just learning how to ride the waves and drifts so she can truly be who she was designed to be?

Faithful

When did they get so big?

So smart?

My legacy and my motive for every breath.

He wants to play the drums she wants to do ballet.

I just want to hold them and stop time to keep them near me.

God is so faithful, He keeps them and honors them with His love.

As we embark on anouther school year I find that I am looking at them a little longer, wishing for yesterday when they were born, but knowing they must fly.

Torn by there questions of how and why consitintly seeking truth so as to feed it to them.

And tomorrow they will be grown needing finances for college and God will be faithful then to.

Grow babies grow.......just not to fast")

His Hands

5 But he was pierced for our rebellion,

crushed for our sins.

He was beaten so we could be whole.

He was whipped so we could be healed.

16 Dogs have surrounded me;

a band of evil men has encircled me,

they have pierced [b] my hands and my feet.

How cruel that they pierced him...that they broke through his skin and crushed his nerves, that they did all the things that they did to him.

My focus today is the garden..Jesus knew that he was going to have to suffer..

I have to many areas that hurt me today..areas that are attached to people that I can't seem to help..grief that weighs heavy on me. The type of grief that hurts and weighs so much on my chest that I think about Him in the garden crying out the the Father to let this cup pass from Him and I think about the disciples and how they were weighed with grief that they couldn't bare it and just slept to get through, the drops of blood He sweated and the anguish that He felt all for me and for you..and although they came and pierced His hands and His feet He endured so that I could use my hands and feet because the enemy pierced Him but becasue he did he can't pierce me and I can use my hands to slap the enemy in the face as I love and do what I am called to do in the name of my Jesus. And although I am full with grief I know He felt it all and that He bore it for me and I can have peace in the midst of my inability to help them becasue what Jesus did was enough for me and for them.

You are my shield

my stregnth, my fortress, deliverer

my shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need...